*Vaguely ominous music. Commercial break*
"Hello! Are you tired of sodas that don't have predictable transformative side effects to them? Then you need RANDOM SODA! Random Soda will transform you in one of 120 different ways for a variable amount of time, unlike those OTHER sodas that will only transform you the same way every time for the same duration regardless of your body mass somehow.
Taste the excitement of having absolutely no clue what's going to happen! Drink Random Soda today!"
And we're back! Wait, is it Friday already? See you all after the weekend!