This is a rare instance of a comic in which I went all special edition and retroactively changed something and made it the official canon FOREVER. I'm not sure when exactly I did it, but I like to think it was around the time I decided I really liked Susan.
In any case, HERE'S THE ORIGINAL!
I apologize for any severe cringing one might have experienced upon reading the original dialogue. It was just so horrifically out of character regardless of any excuse that I just couldn't leave it alone.
If I had to somehow explain how both the new and original version could be canon, my explanation would be this: The original was what Tedd imagined Susan was saying! Huh. I actually really like that explanation. Given the circumstances, it's safe to assume that Tedd was assuming that was everyone's motivation for wanting to talk to Elliot that day.
Okay, that's the new official explanation for how the non-canon version is canon but not canon.
Commentary added October 7, 2014