But what if it DID work that way?
A lot of an anime stories would be a lot simpler and have less conflict, that's what.
Picking up from the last comic...
In the previous comic, Ellen brought up societal gender norms.
These norms are an artificial construct, as evidenced by how much they can differ between societies, and how people of any given gender can be completely contrary to those societal gender norms.
It is, however, a mistake to equate societal gender norms with personal gender identity.
It is an understandable mistake, given how much emphasis we can put on those norms. It is arguably by design that such norms can be seen as defining gender.
Gender identity, however, is something more innate to a person, and is separate from those societal norms.
One's gender identity has nothing to do with fashion, who is expected to be in the kitchen, or whatever else someone somewhere has decided on for gender norms in a given society.
Something that is potentially confusing is that people will often express their sense of gender identity in ways that overlap with these gender norms.
Someone who identifies as a woman might, for example, prefer dresses and skirts. Dresses and skirts are not why they identify as a woman, but as someone who grew up in our society, and identifies as a woman, they might want to wear dresses and skirts.
Or they could just as easily think dresses and skirts are neat in general, and that everyone should wear them if they want to.
My point is that the expression of one's gender identity may include gender norms, but those gender norms are not what defines their gender identity.
Honestly, I'm not trying to be harsh on anyone who finds this confusing. This is stuff I've been sorting through my entire life, and prior to writing this, I still needed to carefully sort through my thoughts on it.
If this sounds confusing, it's because it is.
Bottom line, however, is simply that societal gender norms are separate from gender identity.