"Hero? Hero. There's a main quest to get on with, hero."
"Perhaps a side quest? There are quite a few. They're mostly taking out bandits, but there's occasional unique dialogue? No?"
"Ooh, you can also SIDE with bandits! You don't like farmers, right? You do like farmers? I guess that's natural. They do provide food for everyone. Sort of self-defeating to attack them, thinking long term."
"Right. I'll just read through all the item flavor text again."