HEY! I check my messages more often than THAT!
Granted, it's only a slight exaggeration in regard to how often I actually respond to e-mails. I usually don't. Even if an e-mail is super nice, I'm really not sure what to say, and if I spend more than a minute thinking about it without knowing what to say, it's probably not gonna happen.
In any case, here's some stock responses:
Glad I could help.
I don't know what that means.
HOW DARE YOU
What is this I don't even